Age 19- Freedom.

So I passed out of junior high west finally, sophomore in senior high at age 18, that was swell. Never gave a shit anyway, cut most of my classes, even sat in a few of Noelle’s study halls from time to time. I used to put flowers and notes in her locker, she was really all that mattered. The school had a peer support group like Pottstown did, but it was a joke. The house we were living in was in the middle of almost nowhere, but lucky for me it was in walking distance of an underage dance club. Lot of good times I had in there.

Things with me and Noelle had rocks from time to time, but mostly it was either my home life or hers. We spent time together whenever we could, it was almost like a fight to. We lived on the phone mostly, staying up all night talking, bout anything. Certainly perfected my phone sex skills. We ended up actually taking it to a level where we could make each other feel like we were right there. I carried that gift with me ever since. Was also my first experience in verbal humiliation. Maybe my second real kink. It felt good being at the helm, coming up with all the plans, just having her follow them. Following me. She had so much faith in me, and why not. I was Mr. Magic.

Big momma was finally coming to an end, the social security support checks were stopping, so time to figure out what I’m doing for money. Because of my sobriety

and my newfound path of make love not war, the goal was to get a place and get her in it.

But as I said home life had it problems. My mothers’ boyfriend was a sick weirdo. I used to come home from school and sometimes he’d be masturbating on the living room couch or mowing the lawn in bikini underwear and just basically being a pig and whoring around on my mom. Least I suspected it anyway. When my brother was born, that I think was the beginning of the end, the oldest in his mind had to go I guess. He used to talk shit to his brother behind my back saying I beat on my brothers and I’m gonna beat on my newborn brother and how crazy I was etc… His brother got in my face and threatened me, I’m like whatever the fuck. I left. He tried to catch up to me and talk to me like he wanted my side I’m like fuck you man. Fuck that guy and his whole loser family. Bunch of shit talking liars.

I remember one time he was eating dinner trying to tell us all he stopped a bank robbery and my brother Joe after 10 minutes of listening to this garbage was like, yo Dan shut up your so full of shit. We all laughed. The guy was a douche.

I picked up work washing dishes by hand at a diner, made good money and the job had some pretty fn characters in it. Overall a decent time. So that worked for now.

School on the other hand was a complete disaster, f s in all subjects, showed up just in time to take Noelle home, fights, detentions, suspensions. My connections couldn’t hold back the faculty anymore. It was just to much shit. So they sent me to alternative school in reading. I tested out to a senior so that wasn’t bad and they stuck me in class with all girls, Man, even the teacher who was pretty hot by the way had a crush on me. I felt like a pimp in class every day. Never fucked around, loved Noelle but boy did I want them all, it was like my own toy box.

Time got the better of me however, and it got my pride, to much distance from Noelle and the house story I am about to tell you sealed my fate. It was time to move out. So I quit school. Got a job installing carpet on top of the dish job with a

local contractor, moved the fuck out. It was long overdue.

Well the final straw was my mother fiance at this time nailing my windows shut. My mother said she thought she left her wallet on the shelf and it got stolen, He saw a footprint by my window from my neighborhood friend and thought he broke in. Nailing my windows shut with me being a 3 time institutional man was not a good fucking idea. I lost it. Went in started screaming then I think he hit me. I’m not sure everything went black, I woke up in the bathroom with the water on in the shower, on the floor curled up into a ball. He was trying to snap me out of it. Too late, he walked out and I barricaded the door. Sat in there shaking, he called the police to check on me. they kicked in the door, I was in a daze, kind of coming back but I was ok. Shock of it all I guess. They left. I did 2 days after.

So I moved into my cousins place in Pottstown with his large family. Barley had room to breathe. Seriously, he smoked a lot of pot, I was clean so I had to sit by a window when they were all smoking up. They’d get wasted and play my Sega all night. With work it was hard to get sleep, but I managed. Even managed to see Noelle by walking 16 blocks to the hospital even- other Monday. God I missed her. Good thing we knew the layout of the place pretty well, we had sex everywhere. Also another kink I acquired, fairly public places. Almost got caught in a bathroom once, was hilarious. Whoever it was called a security guard. We were out by the time he got there.

With a lot of hard work and saving every dime, I finally moved out. Noelle was a junior and she couldn’t move in yet but she came by whenever she could. She got a car but no license. Used to sneak down to see me. Even got busted for driving without a license once. What a gal, just made me love her more. Had a real sweet one bedroom apartment for a decent price. It was tight, lot of work to pay for it, but it was perfect. WTell fed well kept, even got to dress her up once in awhile, yet another fetish I acquired. I love dressing my girls. Outfits, underwear lingerie whatever. Nails , hair, she did anything I liked, I was like a kid in a candy store. Everything despite its speed bumps never lost a beat.

I stayed sober, stayed going to meetings, stayed with my sponsor and my new crew. I felt amazing, bulletproof. However I would not discover why until many years later. Part of the empath gift I mentioned earlier with charlotte. I thought I was really in tune with her, The reality was, I was draining her. Poor thing I am sure tried to keep up, but we were both little fish in a big pond of the unknown. Unseen forces were beginning to grow, and as with all perfect things, the world can’t stand to see it. Outside influences were slowly eroding away at us. Also unknown at the time.

But that’s how it was, I really felt in my heart sooner or later it would end, she was just to good for me. That had a lot to do with my low self worth of course, she

thought she was perfect for me. She might have been at the time who am I to say, joy is just like everything else in time. A serious of connected moments. This moment I was the hero for once instead of the villain. Even my dad was proud of me and the way things were going, he liked her, my grandparents loved her, my mom accepted her for the most part. The future looked bright. Thanksgiving and Christmases were always at nanny’s and my grandfather Bruce. Dad was too drunk to show up, Uncle ter did his own thing, so usually it was us and my uncle randy’s family, sometimes just us. Lots of food to take home. Sometimes grocery bags full. So awesome, such a loving happy place to be. I was proud to share it with her.

All I needed to do was keep Vincent at bay, hold on to hope. Some blind faith never hurt either. I really wasn’t sure if I deserved that woman being so true to a bum like me, But my love for her was that she thought I did. That from her on, became the driving core of every love I ever had since her. They thought I did. At least for a time.