Age 28- Blind in Darkness

My transition to texas left a gap in my position in the nation, Justin was appointed 3rd in my stead and Kam helped him pick up the slack. She was highly intelligent, and she knew how to move in the shadows and stay off the radar thanks to me. I kept her name because I thought it was rather unique, reminded me of tati’s name. Tati went by the name vision, and she was in permanent exile for a long time. I never saw, heard or spoke to her again after I broke it off. She took it rather hard.

When I settled in Killeen my brother and his girlfriend were having some erazy fights, but with me there I managed to keep the peace. The apartment was extremely small and I knew i was in a crisis to get the fuck out of there asap. I wanted to stay close to them for the sake of my mother, I needed a place a job and a car. Fast. I flipped open the phone book and looked under electricians. Started with the A’s. ARA electric was my first company. It worked out perfect, they needed a guy to travel and be out of town, so I was out of the apartment and banking serious cash down south with all the hours I would do. I ran the nation from my cell phone, staying in close contact with Kam and Justin, I was consulted on just about everything, still ran the bushiness meeting on sundays. Turned out it was the most populated meeting we had. I wonder why:)

I got my own apartment downstairs, made some great money. I spent my time at home playing Everquest and making some great friends. I got off of shooters the stress was just to intense. Too many people were cheating so I decided on a game that was us against the game, not player verses player. I always loved rpg’s (role playing games since i was a kid so it all appealed to the actual inner me, something I revealed to no one except justin on occasion. He was still my confidant.

From there it was just a routine, Run down south with my boss andrew, stay in some shitty town, wire some houses and go home. We were always home on the weekends. I never stocked my fridge cuz I shut the power off when I left so I usually got canned stuff or ordered out. I saw almost all of south texas and it was really a good time. First time I saw the gulf of mexico. It was so blue and beautiful. I was really ok with my job, and my boss. We got along well. He is a good man, had no problem loaning me money or doing me a favor every now and again.

But, there was the loneliness. The longing to have a woman in my life physically. Just to smell the air she was in, or see a warm smile, or cuddle up to on a cold night. Warming my bed, even my heart. Vincent fought it with everything he had, it was a weakness that would start to erode on me. I started getting so stressed so bad My heartbeat would keep me awake at night by shaking the bed. I used to have to take pills Andrew gave me to sleep, the marijuana also helped a bit. But ultimately Kambrea became and I began to ffed off of each other. We would sleep on the phone together, we would feed from each other, emotionally and sexually. You can question my morals at this point but in the world I was in and the type of person I was at the time, vincent had no morals. As a practitioner of chaos the number one rule was take everything you can from everyone you can, especially when it is willfully given.

I never physically collared Kam or accepted submission. To be honest I never had to, she always did whatever she was told, and thought of things I never would think of to keep everything in order.

At first i think she was doing what she always did, what I trained her to do. Fill the voids, pick up the slack. She was so mature for her age and so intelligent I was very drawn to her. I had no interest in relationships anymore, or normal women. The world just disgusted me. My job was so secluded and quiet I was a ghost. I did not give a fuck about anything anymore but what vincent needed, and what he used. I found fucking with the nation women had it’s consequences. A lot were trying to use me to gain an advantage, or favors, or something they could use to take back to nik to get me removed. I was very methodical, I covered all my bases. I logged everything. We were a group withing the group, very secretive to our inner workings.

On the surface the nation was roleplay, some LARP, mostly lore and mythology. The higher up you went, the deeper the rabbit hole went. Nik would have orgies and I would be present, we used women left and right. Chewed them up and spit them out. Nik especially. Some didn’t even care. We were kings of the castle, and it was a castle of debauchery.

The site was done, the laws were in place, the schedules and jobs assigned. I could finally let the bird fly. What a machine, It practically ran itself,and with all the drama and all the pleasures it was time to sit back and enjoy the spoils.