Age 35- The bill for my ignorance.

Sometimes no news isn’t good news. There is no avoiding war, it can only be postponed to the advantage of your enemy. Machiavelli wrote this in 1502. Had I known I had all enemies in this place, I would have never postponed the war sticking my head up my ass when I was in Pennsylvania. My wife never bothered to tell me. I also didn’t ask much. My wife gave me a few beautiful years in that state, I felt like I had to pick all of this up and put it back together. So I got to work.

We stayed at the ranch, The only money we had was kai’s child support and we did the best we could with it. Meantime I was looking for work, and helping around the house. My wife was helping me do the same when she wasn’t fighting with her mother or sleeping all day. Karen would ask her to cook a meal for her children and she’d throw some hot dogs in a pot and stamp off pissed. She didn’t want to do anything but be pissed and fight with Karen. I just asked her every day what she helps doing or what she needs done. First bit was watering the horses every day. Wasn’t a bad job just boring. I could see why the kids were sick of it.

The grandfather pulled me the room to talk to me. At this time the grandmother was in a home and I would take them all to visit whenever they wanted to go. So he starts telling me that he wants his van fixed, and how he needs a man to manage his money. He also said how he wanted me to take him to see a girlfriend of his, and he also said shit or get off the pot whatever the fuck that meant. I mean I am there for a day and this guy basically wants me to start raising hell with his estate and driving him to see whores. He also was really happy to show me his porn collection. Don’t get me wrong I like porn but not from an old man. I’ll find my own thanks i got internet. I just told karen about what he was telling me and let it go, he can be pissed if wants, bottom line is he wasn’t going to be around forever, and I for sure wasn’t messing with assets, or taking a guy to whorehouses.

So on top of the horses my domestics included cooking meals, doing endless loads of laundry, and fixing things here and there. Also combating the roach infestation

and cleaning out a lot of trash and junk just pack ratted all over the property for years. I went whether my wife helped me or not, I can’t just sit around all fucking day. Cleaned the sun room, the garage, the barn stalls, the yard, the house. Also fixed the bicycles for the kids, and rode the go kart around whenever I could with them. Seemed like the better the place looked the more pissed Karen got. She ended up barley being home as the tension got thicker, and the grandfather got more and more sick. Tried my best to stay out the way and avoid the gunfire, but the days in that house were just getting worse. Me and the wife discussed building a house on the property and the steps it would take to save this place from the bill collectors.

It was possible, but it would take a hell of a lot of work. I could see how much affection she had for the property, and I thought it be a nice place to settle for all of us one day. The mother however made it abundantly clear she was going to take the property and she did not want any help, especially from me. Well ok then. Since I had no luck with work yet I just kept going, fixing horse fences and anything else I could on the property. Cleaning all kinds of junk, and trying to salvage what wasn’t ruined stored in the open horse stables from Allen street. Kind of preparing for the eventual move we would have to take, I just didn’t know how or where as of yet. New year’s hit, and me and the wife had a great night with Tony and Kate, of course I had to complain because we were doing nothing, so I guess to shut me up she did something last minute and it worked out.

The fighting wasn’t just Karen and the wife, It was her boys and me. They hated me for taking their mom away, like I tried or something. It got to fists a few times, it started with Matthew. I finally convinced those fucking people to get him a psych eval because something was seriously wrong with him. He was diagnosed with a low IQ and autism. He started seeing a counselor and I was trying to give him social time since he felt majorly rejected by his peers at school. I lent him my cell phone, even my PC to talk to people on facebook or whatever. Matt however had a taste for girls half his age. The first one we caught him with was 9 years old and he was 15. So we had to monitor his social habits. From then it was the bullshit with him just being a thief, a liar, and delusional. He would tell me he’s a vampire and could turn into a wolf. One night I was arguing with his mother and him and his brother joe decided to puff up their chests and I told them if they felt froggy start leaping. Matt lunged at me and his mother tried to break us up but at that point I was going to break his neck I was so pissed. Joe pulled a knife and threatened to stab me, I said fuck it I had enough and tried to drive off. They were even throwing shit at my van.

Fights like these were getting worse, and it because they did not want me there, only my wife did some of the time really. Kai was always with her mother, but she liked me too. I was trying to lead a family that did not want to be lead, but they wanted out of there. To be honest so did I. The place was nothing but bad vibes

and filth. We made up a chore list for all the kids based on age and what they could do, and even had an allowance for them. It wasn’t much but I thought it be a good way to get them to feel like they were a part of something that became a whole, the whole was the family unit.

Karen did little to nothing. She was too busy blowing the tax return money and anything other cash she could get her hands on. She did however get me a job with a guy named Oscar trenching electrical to a trailer he had on his ranch. This got completely fucked because I was under the impression Karen told Oscar I was to be paid for this work. Well Oscar was under the impression Karen was to pay me because evidently Karen owed Oscar money. They got pissed and then they calmed down and decided to pay me 300 dollars. Gave some to the kids for helping and with all the gas I took to drive down there by the time I was paid out I didn’t make a dime. Joe however did a good job. He worked his ass off helping me. Kid wasn’t lazy at least. Matt however was always the opposite.

I remember one day I asked matt to water the horses, he came back in in 10 minutes and he didn’t even turn on the hose when I went out and checked the tanks. I came in and stopped him the doorway and started giving him shit for lying. He pushed me and I put him to the floor. He then ran out with a knife and was threatening to kill himself. I had to chase him down and tackle him to get the knife back. From there he went to the pavilion in Killeen, it was a psych center for the mentally ill. They at least got him stable and on the right medication.

The grandfather couldn’t stop watching his porn, even when the youngest boy was in the room with him. The first time I said something Karen yelled at him. The second time Cody wasn’t allowed to sleep in there anymore. They were also going and spending time with their uncle war chief friend guy from Karen’s billiard club raven. This guy didn’t like me before I even met him. No doubt thanks to Karen and my wife when she was pissed off. I even went up and did electrical work for this guy for nothing and he still was just an asshole. I like his father though, he thought of him as just as funny a joke as I did.

Then the grandfather dies on St Patrick’s day, so Karen tells me to just stay the fuck out of it and don’t say a word. Whatever, I go fix the fences out back. Shunned from the family, what a fucking surprise. Here I am waiting on him hand and foot, same with the wife’s kids fighting off rats bugs and bullshit now I’m just a fucking piece of shit right? fuck ever. So the next pile of bullshit I get is the wife telling me what an asshole I am for hiding back here. What else was I supposed to do?

The funeral was a mess, and Karen’s hate for me was running deeper and more obvious. It was always poor Karen, Oh woe is Karen, everyone was taking from Karen, boo fucking who. She was such a sympathy junkie, a fucking liar, and just

a general waste of life screwing anyone for loans, or anything else of value she could get her hands on. People like that your just better off staying the fuck away from. She of course at the time had all these friends who fell for her bs, whatever.

I didn’t have time to play imaginary native American with her, or listen to any lies or garbage. I had a family to look after. It was also obvious the rest of the family did not like her at all. I took from their advice to stay as far the fuck away from her as humanly possible.

We all cleaned out his room and brought the grandmother home from the nursing home. No doubt so her social security could pay the bills. She was a different story however. My wife really loved her, took amazing care of her. But it was pretty fucking clear, it was time to go. Karen’s bullshit and that property was just too much for all of these people, and it was obviously effecting me in turn. I can’t live in place like that, and I sure as shit couldn’t deal with all the fighting.

We both agreed to get the fuck out ASAP.

Thankfully RK Bass hired me back and in April and I borrowed the money from my parents to get place in Killeen. It was the cheapest place I found that could at least house all of us. I had the family loading the van every day I came home from work, and I unloaded it myself after work to save on gas since the place was along the way. I didn’t mind it gave me time away from that crazy assed house. I also had the exterminators hit the place hard and kill every bug I saw in that shit hole. Including the fucking roaches. This place was going to be bug free or catch on fucking fire.

When we got close enough I had the wife and kids go up to unpack and arrange the place. We left Kempner and the wife was in tears leaving her grandmother. Karen had money on her mind and all she would make selling the junk off in the house. I moved with little to nothing, I spent my days stealing wood from job sites and building furniture, fixing the kitchen cabinets, scavenging and pilfering places for anything I could, materials, mirrors, sinks, even a fridge. My job didn’t pay much but I figure we did pretty good with what we had. Also sealing up all the cracks to make sure the bugs and mice would stay the fuck out.

Every check went to everything we needed in priority, and we slowly started to make the place a home. All of this was extremely draining, but my wife was holding up her end, she was keeping the house and chasing after the kids. Seemed like this was going to be the right choice, maybe even squirrel some money away for a better place to live. But every week, something else would break or there was something else we needed. It was a battle uphill in molasses. As long as the wife was doing her part, I was gonna do mine.

My wife’s grandmother also passed away around this time. She did not go to the

funeral, and her mother blamed me specifically for that. I took the kids and went

with them. Again this is the part where Karen wanted to kick my ass like at her father’s funeral because I didn’t do something right or give her some kind of attention or sympathy. I had my own family to deal with, and i was fresh out. So the usual, some friends hold her back and say he’s not worth it. I wonder why I wasn’t? I know all the whispers my wife did behind my back, but not one of these fucking idiots ever came to me and talked to me about them. The ones that did got my side and quit talking to her or found out on their own what kind of person my wife was, especially without medication. I’m no angel but anyone putting any additional bullshit in my life was not welcome.

I was bringing home copper wire when I could, and stripping it out in the meantime. Even the kids helped out so did the wife. It was really working out, I had no idea what I forgot. My wife’s mental state without medication.