I seen all your links, I read every post, every add on fetlife. Every dream. For the first time in my life with you, I see who you really are, and what you really do. What you do to all of them. What you continue to do with them. Jesus Christ in heaven. Stay the fuck away from me. I still love you, I still forgive you. But now I see this was all a game, A game you have played for years, a game since Bryan. You never loved me, you never loved anyone. You never will.
The hardest thing I have come to understand is that in order to truly forgive, in order for my heart to finally find peace, and change anew from the inside out is to believe and accept that love and forgiveness are for the person my creator built into this world. The beautiful soul of a person not only has value, but deserves all of the love I can provide to it should I be chosen by my creator to do so.
But, this soul, as the same of my soul, can become plagued, cursed. Attached to wrongdoing. Or as my creator chooses to call it, sin. In order for my soul to find
peace I must no longer be plagued by people of wrongdoing that take action against me in lies, deceit, and trickery. I must love and forgive the person, and I must reject and separate from the wrongdoing. I must reject it, and rebuke it in the name of my creator. For whatever I may lose, I have only good to gain for no matter what my creator decides is best for my future, that is what will be done. My will, will no longer be submitted to any person, but to my creator.
I will be a new creature, better than who I was for not only do I now commit to the actions, I believe the words and know now why I must follow through. I await further revelations on this journey.